After
flying through the uprights of Lions Gate bridge our Airbus 320 gently skipped
off Burrard inlet before flying under Second Narrows bridge. The joystick was
warm and damp from my anxious palms and I was grinning like a fiend in control
of something a fiend should never be in control of.
“Wahoo! Did we just hit a boat?”
“Yee ha!” up we climbed over Burnaby mountain and out into the Fraser Valley. Who knew buzzing around Vancouver in a large jet would be so much fun?
The day began with an early drive to Air Canada’s operations center to meet our instructor. Glen escorted us through security then to the cockpit of our own (well, ‘borrowed.’ We did give it back) Airbus 320.
A quick lesson on avionics (Stay in the middle of the air, avoid the edges) and it was time to fly.
Seatbelts on – check
Seatbelt sign on – check
Preflight safety check - check
Flaps to position 2 – check
ATC OK - check
Hand on joystick – check
Plane pointing in the right direction – check
Release the brake - check
Full throttle – check!
The engines spooled up and we were thrust back in our seats. Glen told us that during normal take offs the throttle isn’t jammed all the way forward. Today was special. Today was, “Full throttle day.”
It turns out keeping a jet in a straight line during take-off is fairly tricky. She bucked and yawed and swayed and came dangerously close to spinning across the grass into Costco Richmond’s parking lot before reacting to the backward jerk (“Pull back gently.”) on the joystick. The nose swung up. Hard up. We were in the air!
Flaps back to neutral – check
Landing gear withdrawn – check
Passengers were sweating the details now. You know the details. Details like, “Why do pilots get a 5 point harness seat belt when passengers only get lap belts?” and “Did I really need to pretend to be cool and play with my Blackberry while the flight attendants went over the safety briefing?” and,
“Oh my god is that a mountain?!”
In the cockpit, the ground proximity warning blared. Glen pushed our favourite button, the alarm cut off button, and the blaring “Ground, 200 meters, ground, 100 meters, ground…” mercifully stopped. (I swear, amongst all the switches, buttons, lights and dooey’s all over the cockpit, the button, easiest to reach, is the alarm cut off button) A gentle jerk of the joystick and we were up again.
“Wahoo! Did we just hit a boat?”
“Yee ha!” up we climbed over Burnaby mountain and out into the Fraser Valley. Who knew buzzing around Vancouver in a large jet would be so much fun?
The day began with an early drive to Air Canada’s operations center to meet our instructor. Glen escorted us through security then to the cockpit of our own (well, ‘borrowed.’ We did give it back) Airbus 320.
A quick lesson on avionics (Stay in the middle of the air, avoid the edges) and it was time to fly.
Seatbelts on – check
Seatbelt sign on – check
Preflight safety check - check
Flaps to position 2 – check
ATC OK - check
Hand on joystick – check
Plane pointing in the right direction – check
Release the brake - check
Full throttle – check!
The engines spooled up and we were thrust back in our seats. Glen told us that during normal take offs the throttle isn’t jammed all the way forward. Today was special. Today was, “Full throttle day.”
It turns out keeping a jet in a straight line during take-off is fairly tricky. She bucked and yawed and swayed and came dangerously close to spinning across the grass into Costco Richmond’s parking lot before reacting to the backward jerk (“Pull back gently.”) on the joystick. The nose swung up. Hard up. We were in the air!
Flaps back to neutral – check
Landing gear withdrawn – check
Passengers were sweating the details now. You know the details. Details like, “Why do pilots get a 5 point harness seat belt when passengers only get lap belts?” and “Did I really need to pretend to be cool and play with my Blackberry while the flight attendants went over the safety briefing?” and,
“Oh my god is that a mountain?!”
In the cockpit, the ground proximity warning blared. Glen pushed our favourite button, the alarm cut off button, and the blaring “Ground, 200 meters, ground, 100 meters, ground…” mercifully stopped. (I swear, amongst all the switches, buttons, lights and dooey’s all over the cockpit, the button, easiest to reach, is the alarm cut off button) A gentle jerk of the joystick and we were up again.
Wahoo! Now
this is flying. Hard left over Surrey and those on the left side of the plane
could see (really quite well) cars, houses and barking dogs while those on the
left only saw clouds and sky. Having fun yet? Up we go. 1000 feet. 2000 feet.
5000 feet 10,000 feet. Full throttle, the engines strain the wing mounts
rushing us higher. The plane shudders. Turbulence? I hope so. Or, are we
going to rip the wings off this thing?
Joystick jammed forward relieves the engine strain. Now we’re rushing at the ground with increasing speed. I’m starting to get a little anxious myself. The view of the ground fills the windshield. There’s no sky anymore. You focus on the patch of ground you’re most likely to hit. Not so good.
“Pull up! Pull up!” (Thanks Glen, I was just getting to that)
“Ground, Ground, Gr…”
Poke the alarm cut off button for immediate relief.
“Pull up, Pull up!”
(You know, the joystick only moves so far. Any more pulling and it’s likely to come off in my hand!)
The airbus responds. We come safely out of our dive, screaming out over the Straights of Georgia. Hard right and back to the city.
Me, “Let’s fly under Lions Gate bridge!”
Glen, “Great idea.”
Passengers, “Ohh, Uhhh, Ungh.”
This time, gently down toward the water.
“Ground, Ground Gr…” Poke.
A little lower.
“Ground Groun…” Poke
“We’re not going to make it!”
Gently up (we’re now learning that flying is gentle pressure against the joystick and not slamming it left, right, forward, back)
Level off. The car deck of the bridge looms in front of us. Gently up. We made it. We’re though the uprights of Lions Gate bridge.
“Under Second Narrows?” “Go for it!”
Back down to the water
The altimeter reads 100 feet
“Grou…” Poke
Fifty feet
“Gr…” Poke
Twenty feet
Poke
The plane lurches slightly as we skip off Burrard inlet
“Was that a boat?”
Up to fifty feet (That was fast!)
Back down to twenty feet
Poke
Level it out…
We’re under the bridge and out the other side!
Poke
Gently, back on the joystick again, and back to the safety of sky all around.
From up here the speed isn’t nearly so terrifying as it is close to the ground. There’s a feeling of safety when you’re thousands of feet away from the ground. It feels good knowing you’re that much safer. Glen assures us that no amount of turbulence can break the plane apart. Just then it drops and shudders then shudders more. The plane is grabbed by a giant suffering from Parkinson’s. The shaking is getting violent. We’re turning green. Glen is calm knowing nothing will happen to the plane. Now we know why the pilots get the skookum seat belts. It’s so they don’t hit the ceiling when the plane drops in turbulence. The bucking is less stressful now, knowing everything will be OK.
Warning lights flash again.
Poke. Nothing
Poke, Poke, Poke, warning lights continue to flash.
Joystick jammed forward relieves the engine strain. Now we’re rushing at the ground with increasing speed. I’m starting to get a little anxious myself. The view of the ground fills the windshield. There’s no sky anymore. You focus on the patch of ground you’re most likely to hit. Not so good.
“Pull up! Pull up!” (Thanks Glen, I was just getting to that)
“Ground, Ground, Gr…”
Poke the alarm cut off button for immediate relief.
“Pull up, Pull up!”
(You know, the joystick only moves so far. Any more pulling and it’s likely to come off in my hand!)
The airbus responds. We come safely out of our dive, screaming out over the Straights of Georgia. Hard right and back to the city.
Me, “Let’s fly under Lions Gate bridge!”
Glen, “Great idea.”
Passengers, “Ohh, Uhhh, Ungh.”
This time, gently down toward the water.
“Ground, Ground Gr…” Poke.
A little lower.
“Ground Groun…” Poke
“We’re not going to make it!”
Gently up (we’re now learning that flying is gentle pressure against the joystick and not slamming it left, right, forward, back)
Level off. The car deck of the bridge looms in front of us. Gently up. We made it. We’re though the uprights of Lions Gate bridge.
“Under Second Narrows?” “Go for it!”
Back down to the water
The altimeter reads 100 feet
“Grou…” Poke
Fifty feet
“Gr…” Poke
Twenty feet
Poke
The plane lurches slightly as we skip off Burrard inlet
“Was that a boat?”
Up to fifty feet (That was fast!)
Back down to twenty feet
Poke
Level it out…
We’re under the bridge and out the other side!
Poke
Gently, back on the joystick again, and back to the safety of sky all around.
From up here the speed isn’t nearly so terrifying as it is close to the ground. There’s a feeling of safety when you’re thousands of feet away from the ground. It feels good knowing you’re that much safer. Glen assures us that no amount of turbulence can break the plane apart. Just then it drops and shudders then shudders more. The plane is grabbed by a giant suffering from Parkinson’s. The shaking is getting violent. We’re turning green. Glen is calm knowing nothing will happen to the plane. Now we know why the pilots get the skookum seat belts. It’s so they don’t hit the ceiling when the plane drops in turbulence. The bucking is less stressful now, knowing everything will be OK.
Warning lights flash again.
Poke. Nothing
Poke, Poke, Poke, warning lights continue to flash.
“What’s going on?”
Glen “The left engine is on fire.”
“What?!”
“No worries she’ll fly just fine on one engine.” (Yeah)
“Just follow the checklist on the screen.”
Throttle back the left engine – check
Cut fuel to left engine – check
Turn off left engine - check
Release fire extinguisher on left engine – check
Do it again – check
Check pants – check
Call YVR ATC (We’re coming in!) – check
Tell passengers what’s what – check
Tell company we wrecked their plane – not so fast on the ‘check’ here. It wasn’t us.We found it that way!
Glen instructs us to the correct glide path to YVR.
Landing gear down – check
Flaps to position 3 – check
The plane lurches and makes a sick shuddering sound. More turbulence? I really hope so.
Gently down the flight path to YVR.
“Up a little”
“...a little more”
“Down a little” (You just told me to go up?!)
“Hold it there”
The ground is rushing at us again and the landing gear takes a hard hit. The plane does that shuddery thing again.
“Forward on the stick.”
The nose slams down.
Pull back on the throttle - check
Full airbrakes – check
Full foot brakes – check
Holy crap! The plane swerves dangerously to the right.
“Even pressure with both feet”
We straighten out and come to a quick stop in the middle of the runway, facing a little (a lot) to the side of the runway.
Air brakes off – check
Flaps neutral – check
Taxi to the terminal where we stop with a screeching lurch well beyond the skyway’s reach.
Parking brake on - check
“Contents of the overhead bin may have shifted during the flight…”
Seatbelt sign - off
Sweating, we sit back and grin like idiots. What a blast!
Glen thanks for your patience, kind words and encouragement. Going in, we had no idea the Airbus 320 simulator would be so realistic. I kept waiting for my ears to pop as we changed altitude. It never happened. When you dialed in more turbulence we got that weird sicky feeling that the plane was going to break apart. Thanks for the reassurance that air can’t hurt these planes and turbulence is only an annoyance and nothing more.
Watching the ‘ground’ come rushing up to a plane is not anything I want to experience in real life. It was freaky enough when you knew it was all simulation. There were still moments needing a mental reboot. I just closed my eyes, didn’t look out the ‘window,‘ had a few cleansing breathes, and was back in the plane. I have whole new respect, for the pilots who fly these things. Thank you for making everything smooth and safe.
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